I have had a pet peeve for quite a while but I cannot keep in in any longer.
Can all the big companies stop with all the weepy, sad, sentimental ads for every festive occasion - Hari Raya, sad ad. Chinese New Year, Sad ad. Deepawali, Sad ad. I am sick of these ads. We are already depressed with all the crazy stories in the news, stress at work, inflation, economy and so on.
I blame the late Yasmin Ahmed. She was an amazing film maker and I liked her ads but she started a trend which shows no sign of ending.
PLEASE, PLEASE make happy, funny, uplifting, motivating ads the next festive season
Please share if you agree.
The only funny festive ad in ages
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
21 July 2016
10 November 2015
25 August 2010
Email from Margaret
I receive a lot of scam mails every day but this one caught my attention because of the picture they attached with the mail.
Margaret Steven
sender time Sent at 06:53 (UTC). Current time there: 22:48. ✆
reply-to margaretsteven22@hotmail.com
to Windows Live
date 24 August 2010 06:53
subject FW: Please Help!!
mailed-by hotmail.com
Dearest friend,
Am Margaret Steven from England, when i saw your Email contact on internet when searching, i decided to tell you about my situation, i have been diagnosed with cancer and i need your help in distributing my funds of $7.5M to charities. I contacted you because i strongly believe you are in a position to handle this project. Please get back to me soon if you will help me so that i can give you all the details on how to receive the fund without any delay.
Here is the picture of Margaret, that was attached with the email:
Margaret Steven
sender time Sent at 06:53 (UTC). Current time there: 22:48. ✆
reply-to margaretsteven22@hotmail.com
to Windows Live
date 24 August 2010 06:53
subject FW: Please Help!!
mailed-by hotmail.com
Dearest friend,
Am Margaret Steven from England, when i saw your Email contact on internet when searching, i decided to tell you about my situation, i have been diagnosed with cancer and i need your help in distributing my funds of $7.5M to charities. I contacted you because i strongly believe you are in a position to handle this project. Please get back to me soon if you will help me so that i can give you all the details on how to receive the fund without any delay.
Here is the picture of Margaret, that was attached with the email:
22 January 2010
Rectal thermometer
Yet another forwarded email (thanks Luiz) but I assure you that this will definitely put a smile on your face. I don't know who the author is but he's really creative.
-------------
When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]
Try this out:
After you've gotten a cash advance stop by your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer by Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand of thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times:
"I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS!
And now, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart. Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson.
-------------
When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]
Try this out:
After you've gotten a cash advance stop by your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer by Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand of thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times:
"I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS!
And now, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart. Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson.
21 November 2009
Look at yourself before finding fault with others
Another great forwarded mail. It's really thought provoking..
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called his family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple, informal test; which he could perform and give them a better idea about her hearing loss.
“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, when his wife was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, he was in the drawing room, standing about 40 feet away from her.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”, he asked in a normal tone. No response! So he moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeated “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still there was no response.
Next, he moved into the dining room where he was placed about 20 feet from his wife and asked the same question. Still further, he didn’t get his awaited response. He now walked up to the kitchen door which was another 10 feet away and asked “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again no response! So he walks up and whispers behind her “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
“Steve, for the fifth time I’ve said, “Chicken”. “Do you have some hearing problem?”
Sometimes, the problem may not be with the other person as we always think; it could be within us. Let’s look within ourselves before we find fault with others.
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called his family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple, informal test; which he could perform and give them a better idea about her hearing loss.
“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, when his wife was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, he was in the drawing room, standing about 40 feet away from her.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”, he asked in a normal tone. No response! So he moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeated “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still there was no response.
Next, he moved into the dining room where he was placed about 20 feet from his wife and asked the same question. Still further, he didn’t get his awaited response. He now walked up to the kitchen door which was another 10 feet away and asked “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again no response! So he walks up and whispers behind her “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
“Steve, for the fifth time I’ve said, “Chicken”. “Do you have some hearing problem?”
Sometimes, the problem may not be with the other person as we always think; it could be within us. Let’s look within ourselves before we find fault with others.
14 October 2009
30 September 2009
Malaysia Boleh
A funny mail that was forwarded to me today:
After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, Swedish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Swedes, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read; English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibber-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Swedes.
One week later, Malaysian newspapers reported the following:
MALAYSIA CAN!!!!!
After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, Swedish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Swedes, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read; English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibber-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Swedes.
One week later, Malaysian newspapers reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 5000 meters in paddy fields in Kedah, Malaysian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Malaysian's inhabitants were already using wireless technology."
MALAYSIA CAN!!!!!
03 May 2009
Swine Flu and Winnie the Pooh
Another forwarded mail. Thought it was really funny.
On a more serious note, the Swine Flu is one in the long list of the diseases which have jumped to humans from animals - AIDs, Mad cow disease, Foot-and-mouth, Chicken flu and now Swine flu.
Apart from AIDs, apparently all the diseases are from domesticated animals reared as food. Maybe we should all go vegetarian.
On a more serious note, the Swine Flu is one in the long list of the diseases which have jumped to humans from animals - AIDs, Mad cow disease, Foot-and-mouth, Chicken flu and now Swine flu.
Apart from AIDs, apparently all the diseases are from domesticated animals reared as food. Maybe we should all go vegetarian.
02 April 2009
Forwards mails, friends and heaven
A friend forwarded me this nice story explaining why he forwards emails:
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up..' The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked..
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book....
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
So. Now you see, sometimes, when we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up..' The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked..
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book....
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
So. Now you see, sometimes, when we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.
First Commentator
Laymen's Views
Laymen's Views
23 March 2009
Travelodge tells me to bring a tent
My sister is coming over from Australia to visit us in May along with her husband and my sweet niece. She wanted to rent an apartment but I convinced her to save money and stay in the Travelodge Hotel here in Coventry.
As students we are always on a budget and discovered Travelodge after talking to other Malaysians who have been here in the UK for a while. The first thing that comes to mind when we say "budget hotel" are dirty sheets, bare and tiny rooms and we were really surprised the first time we stayed in a Travelodge because their service quality was quite high. The rooms were neat and tidy, well maintained with clean sheets. They even provide TV and kettle with tea and coffee. You can even get extra pillows, sheets and baby cot if travelling with a baby. Like Air Asia, the budget Malaysian airline, you can get some great deals if you book early with them.
Anyway, we never knew that there was a Travelodge in Coventry until we ran a search and quickly booked the rooms. Later on we found out that the hotel was still under construction.
Screenshot of their website
Naturally we were quite worried and I called up their customer service. The guy I talked to, convinced me that the hotel would be up by the time my sister's family arrived. He also added "You better bring along a tent mate!"
It was quite funny and I laughed - an example of a typical English joke where you don't know whether the guy is being sarcastic or actually trying to be funny with a lame joke. I was narrating this incident to my friend who's in the hotel industry (he prefers to call it "the hospitality industry") and he was shocked. "They actually said that".
According to him, if any of his customer service staff made a remark like that, they would be fired immediately.
I was not offended but they better get the hotel ready in time.
As students we are always on a budget and discovered Travelodge after talking to other Malaysians who have been here in the UK for a while. The first thing that comes to mind when we say "budget hotel" are dirty sheets, bare and tiny rooms and we were really surprised the first time we stayed in a Travelodge because their service quality was quite high. The rooms were neat and tidy, well maintained with clean sheets. They even provide TV and kettle with tea and coffee. You can even get extra pillows, sheets and baby cot if travelling with a baby. Like Air Asia, the budget Malaysian airline, you can get some great deals if you book early with them.
Anyway, we never knew that there was a Travelodge in Coventry until we ran a search and quickly booked the rooms. Later on we found out that the hotel was still under construction.
Screenshot of their website
Naturally we were quite worried and I called up their customer service. The guy I talked to, convinced me that the hotel would be up by the time my sister's family arrived. He also added "You better bring along a tent mate!"
It was quite funny and I laughed - an example of a typical English joke where you don't know whether the guy is being sarcastic or actually trying to be funny with a lame joke. I was narrating this incident to my friend who's in the hotel industry (he prefers to call it "the hospitality industry") and he was shocked. "They actually said that".
According to him, if any of his customer service staff made a remark like that, they would be fired immediately.
I was not offended but they better get the hotel ready in time.
08 March 2009
The happiest countries
According to the results of a study survey carried out by researchers at the University of Leicester, Denmark is the happiest nation in the world.
They have come out with a "World Map of Happiness". It was found out that the significant factors that decided the "happiness" of a country were health, poverty level, and access to basic education.
Only two Asian countries are in the top 10 - Bhutan and Brunei Darussalam coming in at 8th and 9th places respectively.
I was surprised to find that Malaysia did quite well, coming at 17th place. The United Kingdom came in at a distant 41 (I am not surprised). The US of A came in at 23rd.
Apparently the most miserable people on the Earth are those that live in Burundi closely followed by Zimbabwe.
Mr. Mugabe! Please pity to your people and just step down.
Read the BusinessWeek article.
They have come out with a "World Map of Happiness". It was found out that the significant factors that decided the "happiness" of a country were health, poverty level, and access to basic education.
Only two Asian countries are in the top 10 - Bhutan and Brunei Darussalam coming in at 8th and 9th places respectively.
I was surprised to find that Malaysia did quite well, coming at 17th place. The United Kingdom came in at a distant 41 (I am not surprised). The US of A came in at 23rd.
Apparently the most miserable people on the Earth are those that live in Burundi closely followed by Zimbabwe.
Mr. Mugabe! Please pity to your people and just step down.
Read the BusinessWeek article.
15 February 2009
Facebook for birds
I came across this really interesting article on the BBC website, whereby males of a bird species called long-tailed manakins collaborate to make a particular mating spot "hot" to the female birds. One bird graciously bows out to the alpha bird but with the condition that they "inherit the mating site and become the alpha himself".
The article mentions the "Granita pact" also known as the Blair-Brown deal. Apparently, the birds in Costa Rica also have similar agreements.
It was quite funny when the way Dr McDonald of Wyoming University, describes the way Alpha males are selected. He calls it "Facebook for birds".
Read the article "Dance duet helps male birds mate".
The article mentions the "Granita pact" also known as the Blair-Brown deal. Apparently, the birds in Costa Rica also have similar agreements.
It was quite funny when the way Dr McDonald of Wyoming University, describes the way Alpha males are selected. He calls it "Facebook for birds".
Read the article "Dance duet helps male birds mate".
06 February 2009
A boy, his parents and a dog
Just received this a while from a friend. Absolutely hilarious. Got to admit, this boy has some imagination.
Click on the picture to enlarge and read.
Click on the picture to enlarge and read.
29 February 2008
What the British Really Mean
Received this forwarded email from a friend and wanted to share it with you guys because it's so true.
---------
It is well known that the British do not always say what they really mean. So, with the growing international nature of business, the definitions below may help people from other nations understand their British counterparts better.
♦ I hear what you say
What They Mean: I disagree and do not wish to discuss it any further
♦ With the greatest respect
What They Mean: I think you are a fool
♦ Not bad
What They Mean: Good or very good
♦ Quite good
What They Mean: A bit disappointing
♦ Perhaps you would like to think about…./it would be nice if….
What They Mean: This is an order. Do it or be prepared to justify yourself
♦ Oh, by the way/Incidentally
What They Mean: This is the primary purpose of our discussion
♦ Very interesting
What They Mean: I don’t agree/I don’t believe you
♦ Could we consider the options
What They Mean: I don’t like your idea
♦ I’ll bear it in mind
What They Mean: I will do nothing about it
♦ Perhaps you could give that some more thought
What They Mean: It is a bad idea. Don’t do it
♦ I’m sure it is my fault
What They Mean: It is your fault
♦ That is an original point of view/brave option to consider
What They Mean: You must be crazy
♦ You must come for dinner sometime
What They Mean: Not an invitation, just being polite
♦ Not entirely helpful
What They Mean: Completely useless
Thanks Christina.
11 January 2008
19 August 2007
What women really mean
One of my old friends sent me this forwarded mail. It's another version of the old "What women really mean when they say ...."
Words Women Use
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. However, Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say "you're welcome".
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "Go to Hell".
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
Another small step in understanding how women think and operate.
Words Women Use
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. However, Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say "you're welcome".
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "Go to Hell".
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
Another small step in understanding how women think and operate.
11 August 2007
The CIA, Al-Qaeda and 12 foot aliens
I was reading this rather boring post on the Times Online blog, about two image processing experts who disagree on whether Al-Qaeda had altered a video or not. Read the post "Mousetrap technology" here.
Reading the comments really made me laugh out aloud.
A guy called Simon Arbuthnot says: I found the comments more interesting than the post.
Reading the comments really made me laugh out aloud.
A guy called Simon Arbuthnot says:
KR is correct.
09 July 2007
Hitz FM's Morning crew parodies the Pussycat Dolls
JJ and Rudy parodies the Pussycat Dolls' song 'Don Cha'.
Is your boyfriend hot like me?
FYI, they make up the Morning Crew on Hitz FM, a Malaysian radio station.
Got this clip via 'At's Perspective'.
Is your boyfriend hot like me?
FYI, they make up the Morning Crew on Hitz FM, a Malaysian radio station.
Got this clip via 'At's Perspective'.
22 June 2007
Lot of phones going to be homeless after the iPhone comes out
A recent survey report states that one-in-four (26%) potential smart phone purchasers say they’ll opt for the iPhone when it comes out. It's not surprising and I may be one of those guys.
There are loads of funny videos on the iPhone doing the rounds of YouTube now. I thought this one was hilarious.
My old Motorola might be hitting the road too. For iPhone Review and Video visit the site Whatgoodisyouroldphone.com
There are loads of funny videos on the iPhone doing the rounds of YouTube now. I thought this one was hilarious.
My old Motorola might be hitting the road too. For iPhone Review and Video visit the site Whatgoodisyouroldphone.com
01 June 2007
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Everybody knows that Al-Quaeda are a creation of the CIA, that the twin towers were blown up by George W. to cover up his fathers involvement in The Philadelphia experiment with time, causing earth to be invaded by 12 foot high space aliens 40 years before the experiment took place. The space aliens are now building an inter-galactic craft in the bermuda triangle to get back home to their own planet.
The whole clash of civilisations thing is just a conspiracy to stop us finding out about it. The only people who know the truth are The Queen, Geroge W and George snr, Margaret Thatcher and David Ike.