I am sure some of you must have read this before, forwarded by a friend. My wife sent it to me yesterday. Is she trying to tell me something? Hmmmmm!
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Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization,where it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night Out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crash the system whenever selected.
Attempting to operate selected "Saturday Football 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend7.0", but de-installing doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help?
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AND THIS IS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID:
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Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely an UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is Impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \APOLOGIZE\FORGIVEME program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key.
It may be necessary to run C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high-maintenance programme, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it, consider buying additional software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 1000.0", or even "EatingOutWithoutTheKids 7.2.1" (if child processing has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "BarGirl 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "OneNightStand 3.2" (any version), as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.
BEST OF LUCK!
Your Systems Analyst
12 May 2005
11 May 2005
Latest News on the NS Dodger Saga
Just read on the Star Online website that NS dodger Ahmad Hafizal Ahmad Fauzi was freed by police today morning. A representative Perlis MB Datuk Seri Shahidan Kassim paid the the fine at the magistrate's court.
I guess this is good news for all those guys who skipped the National Service. The authorities won't be be in a hurry to jail them this time around. If you have a valid reason like this guy I guess you can walk away with it, however, if you don't, too bad....
I guess this is good news for all those guys who skipped the National Service. The authorities won't be be in a hurry to jail them this time around. If you have a valid reason like this guy I guess you can walk away with it, however, if you don't, too bad....
Brand Loyalty
As compared to other people, I always prided myself as one who was not being brand loyal. I do buy branded stuff but I buy any as long as they are good – based on reviews, recommendations and past experiences. I try not to fall into the Fad trap - buying something because it is “IN” right now.
However, I may be wrong. Last week I wanted to go to Jaya Jusco store at One Utama, Damansara to redeem my RM50 voucher. My wife was a bit pissed off with me and accused me of worrying about that "stupid voucher" over other more important things - like paying off credit card bills. I knew she was right and so off we went, settling our debts and in the end didn’t have enough time to visit the stores.
I suddenly realized that we have been shopping at Jaya Jusco stores a lot, either at Mega Mall or at One Utama. One reason was the J card. Using this loyalty card, they have successfully built up a pool of loyal customers. Last year it was estimated that they have around 375K principal members and more than 200K supplementary card holders. It is estimated that out of these, around 75% are active members (Annual report). That’s a lot of customers and any company would be envious of that.
I always thought that my father was not brand conscious. He’s a very down to earth and practical guy. It may be true about clothes (as long as they are comfortable), electronic goods (no extra frill needed), etc. For example, he has been using the same Siemens handphone for about 4 years now, while I have changed several in between. No need for colour screens, MMS, games or polyphonic tones or whatever for him. According to him, it is working fine and he only needs it to make and receive calls. I also noticed that he only buys Citizen watches. Not very fashionable but my mom has one and so do I. My younger sister who came back from Australia recently, also received one as her birthday present. According to my father, they are dependable and reasonably priced. Furthermore you don’t ever need to change batteries for the rest of your lifetime. I can’t argue with that but in a way, isn’t that being brand loyal.
FYI, Citizen Eco-Drive watches uses an amazing power generating and storage system whereby solar photovoltic panels on the dial use light from any source to generate electrical power. This energy is then stored in a special energy storage cell, which powers the watch.
However, I may be wrong. Last week I wanted to go to Jaya Jusco store at One Utama, Damansara to redeem my RM50 voucher. My wife was a bit pissed off with me and accused me of worrying about that "stupid voucher" over other more important things - like paying off credit card bills. I knew she was right and so off we went, settling our debts and in the end didn’t have enough time to visit the stores.
I suddenly realized that we have been shopping at Jaya Jusco stores a lot, either at Mega Mall or at One Utama. One reason was the J card. Using this loyalty card, they have successfully built up a pool of loyal customers. Last year it was estimated that they have around 375K principal members and more than 200K supplementary card holders. It is estimated that out of these, around 75% are active members (Annual report). That’s a lot of customers and any company would be envious of that.
I always thought that my father was not brand conscious. He’s a very down to earth and practical guy. It may be true about clothes (as long as they are comfortable), electronic goods (no extra frill needed), etc. For example, he has been using the same Siemens handphone for about 4 years now, while I have changed several in between. No need for colour screens, MMS, games or polyphonic tones or whatever for him. According to him, it is working fine and he only needs it to make and receive calls. I also noticed that he only buys Citizen watches. Not very fashionable but my mom has one and so do I. My younger sister who came back from Australia recently, also received one as her birthday present. According to my father, they are dependable and reasonably priced. Furthermore you don’t ever need to change batteries for the rest of your lifetime. I can’t argue with that but in a way, isn’t that being brand loyal.
FYI, Citizen Eco-Drive watches uses an amazing power generating and storage system whereby solar photovoltic panels on the dial use light from any source to generate electrical power. This energy is then stored in a special energy storage cell, which powers the watch.
09 May 2005
Prices Up
Despite the Govt.'s call to businesses not to increase prices and absorb the increase in costs due to the recent increase in fuel prices, it is clear that almost everyone has ignored the call.
I was shocked to find out that bus tickets to Alor Star from KL by almost RM5. Fortunately, I had bought the tickets earlier before they increased the prices. My friend was not so lucky and he was grumbling: “a 20 sen increase in fuel and tickets go up by RM5”. That means extra expenditure for people like us who have families in KL and work elsewhere.
I feel that some of these companies are taking advantage of the situation to exorbitantly increase the price of their products. Forget about absorbing the costs they are looking at it as a way to increase profits.
I was shocked to find out that bus tickets to Alor Star from KL by almost RM5. Fortunately, I had bought the tickets earlier before they increased the prices. My friend was not so lucky and he was grumbling: “a 20 sen increase in fuel and tickets go up by RM5”. That means extra expenditure for people like us who have families in KL and work elsewhere.
I feel that some of these companies are taking advantage of the situation to exorbitantly increase the price of their products. Forget about absorbing the costs they are looking at it as a way to increase profits.
04 May 2005
Dr. M in the News
Tun Dr. Mahathir raised a very interesting question at the launching ceremony of the UK based, Islamic Relief Worldwide.
He asked, "Why is it all right to receive contributions from non-Muslims but wrong to contribute to non-Muslims?"
I remember one story, which my mother-in-law related to me sometime back. This lady (a family friend) came to her and enquired whether she knew of some organizations to which they could donate money (charity). So my mother-in-law told them about one school in Sunway who taught special children. The next question the lady friend asked was whether the school was run by Muslims because she wanted to donate money only to organizations run by Muslims.
It was sad when educated people start talking like that. It’s ironic because the school takes in children of all races and religion.
I have come across several people who want to help but only people of their own ethnic group or religion. Fortunately, there are many others who are not.
...
FYI, another new version of Firefox has come out. Remember to remove the previous version before you add the newer one.
He asked, "Why is it all right to receive contributions from non-Muslims but wrong to contribute to non-Muslims?"
I remember one story, which my mother-in-law related to me sometime back. This lady (a family friend) came to her and enquired whether she knew of some organizations to which they could donate money (charity). So my mother-in-law told them about one school in Sunway who taught special children. The next question the lady friend asked was whether the school was run by Muslims because she wanted to donate money only to organizations run by Muslims.
It was sad when educated people start talking like that. It’s ironic because the school takes in children of all races and religion.
I have come across several people who want to help but only people of their own ethnic group or religion. Fortunately, there are many others who are not.
...
FYI, another new version of Firefox has come out. Remember to remove the previous version before you add the newer one.
03 May 2005
Proposal and Penang
Being rejected is hard and I not talking about love relationships here. One guy thinks that my proposal is not that interesting or that important. However, I feel otherwise and I am still trying to go ahead with it. So I tried to get through to a lady who may have a better opinion about my project but haven’t received any reply as yet. Here’s praying that I get the funding or our plans could go down the drain.
Anyway, I have to drive down to Penang sometime later this month. Have to meet up with some people and see how they are doing. I have only been there once and have no idea where to go first. Have to get Penangite Rajoo’s help to draw up a schedule. Don’t know whether I will have a chance to meet up with some of the bloggers out there.
I just realized one thing. Malaysia is among the few countries (maybe the one and only) where places can have more than one officially recognized name. Take for example, Pulau Pinang (in Malay) and Penang (the common English version). Melaka and Melacca. Alor Setar and Alor Star, Kota Bahru and Kota Baru. Can you name others?
Anyway, I have to drive down to Penang sometime later this month. Have to meet up with some people and see how they are doing. I have only been there once and have no idea where to go first. Have to get Penangite Rajoo’s help to draw up a schedule. Don’t know whether I will have a chance to meet up with some of the bloggers out there.
I just realized one thing. Malaysia is among the few countries (maybe the one and only) where places can have more than one officially recognized name. Take for example, Pulau Pinang (in Malay) and Penang (the common English version). Melaka and Melacca. Alor Setar and Alor Star, Kota Bahru and Kota Baru. Can you name others?
02 May 2005
Taxes n Bollywood
I hope all of you paid your taxes on time. Well I was among those who waited until the last minute (well almost). My tidak apa attitude is getting worse.
On Friday morning, I photostated all the necessary documents and drove down to the LHDN (The Inland Revenue Malaysia)office at Kelana Jaya. My mother-in-law told me that it was somewhere near the MAS academy. I had no idea where it was but when I saw a traffic jam near the academy, I knew I was going in the right direction. I found the place to be in utter chaos. There were hundreds of people moving around and queuing up for god knows what. I asked around a bit and learnt that as I had already filled up my forms, all I had to do was just drop them off with the ladies sitting at a table outside.
When my turn came up, the lady went through the completed forms. She was a bit annoyed with the fact that I had used pencil to fill up the forms and asked me to redo it using a pen. I apologized and redid it using my pen. I then found that I had to have copies of the forms. Fortunately I had already made the copies but they were in my car. So off I went – took the lift again to the 3rd floor, walk to the stairs, go down to the parking lot on the first floor, get the copies and then back again. I finally got my documents chopped and it took me altogether 45 minutes.
In the evening, I picked up my sisters Di and Jules and Jules’ boyfriend, Fred. I am not much of a theatre person but my sister Di had bought us tickets for the musical ‘My Bollywood Summer’ and we agreed to accompany her. Starring singer Nurul in the lead, the musical was staged at Panggung Bandaraya, Sultan Abdul Samad Building, Jalan Raja, Kuala Lumpur.
Written and directed by stage personality Sabera Shaik, the storyline is fairly simple. Aishah (singer Nurul) a young Malay girl dreams of making it big in Bollywood and actually goes all the way to Mumbai to make her dreams a reality.
We were a bit late (waiting for my sisters to get ready) and the play had already started by the time we got there. It was quite embarrassing and I made a note to myself – never be fashionably late at such events.
Nurul’s a good singer and she performed the songs quite well. However, I can’t say the same for her dancing. She went about her dance routines quite mechanically. Maybe it was due to the fact that there were many other professional dancers in the cast who out classed her.
A few characters in the drama stole the limelight away from the lead actors. Chedd Yusoff who played Nadesh, the goonda and Pavan as Deepak the gay director. I have known Pavan since his Help Institute days and he was really hilarious in his role. Sham Sunder also did a great job as Sunil, the ‘dirty’ director with a casting couch.
Overall, it was an enjoyable show. It was quite fun but got a bit draggy near the end. Maybe because it was too late and we were too tired (the show ended around 11 pm). I had fun annoying my wife with a thick Indian accented english until the novelty wore off.
On Friday morning, I photostated all the necessary documents and drove down to the LHDN (The Inland Revenue Malaysia)office at Kelana Jaya. My mother-in-law told me that it was somewhere near the MAS academy. I had no idea where it was but when I saw a traffic jam near the academy, I knew I was going in the right direction. I found the place to be in utter chaos. There were hundreds of people moving around and queuing up for god knows what. I asked around a bit and learnt that as I had already filled up my forms, all I had to do was just drop them off with the ladies sitting at a table outside.
When my turn came up, the lady went through the completed forms. She was a bit annoyed with the fact that I had used pencil to fill up the forms and asked me to redo it using a pen. I apologized and redid it using my pen. I then found that I had to have copies of the forms. Fortunately I had already made the copies but they were in my car. So off I went – took the lift again to the 3rd floor, walk to the stairs, go down to the parking lot on the first floor, get the copies and then back again. I finally got my documents chopped and it took me altogether 45 minutes.
In the evening, I picked up my sisters Di and Jules and Jules’ boyfriend, Fred. I am not much of a theatre person but my sister Di had bought us tickets for the musical ‘My Bollywood Summer’ and we agreed to accompany her. Starring singer Nurul in the lead, the musical was staged at Panggung Bandaraya, Sultan Abdul Samad Building, Jalan Raja, Kuala Lumpur.
Written and directed by stage personality Sabera Shaik, the storyline is fairly simple. Aishah (singer Nurul) a young Malay girl dreams of making it big in Bollywood and actually goes all the way to Mumbai to make her dreams a reality.
We were a bit late (waiting for my sisters to get ready) and the play had already started by the time we got there. It was quite embarrassing and I made a note to myself – never be fashionably late at such events.
Nurul’s a good singer and she performed the songs quite well. However, I can’t say the same for her dancing. She went about her dance routines quite mechanically. Maybe it was due to the fact that there were many other professional dancers in the cast who out classed her.
A few characters in the drama stole the limelight away from the lead actors. Chedd Yusoff who played Nadesh, the goonda and Pavan as Deepak the gay director. I have known Pavan since his Help Institute days and he was really hilarious in his role. Sham Sunder also did a great job as Sunil, the ‘dirty’ director with a casting couch.
Overall, it was an enjoyable show. It was quite fun but got a bit draggy near the end. Maybe because it was too late and we were too tired (the show ended around 11 pm). I had fun annoying my wife with a thick Indian accented english until the novelty wore off.
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