Traditional Bersanding in Johor

Last Saturday we were at Johor again. This time to attend the bersanding (wedding reception)of Hardy and Zaza our dearest friends. And this time my in-laws were in full force. Rahil was there too looking very cute in her Baju Kurung.



Their Akad nikah which made them a legaly married couple, was actually on the 26th of November.

The bersanding is a very important ceremony for the Malays because it officialy announces the marriage. For Malays' it is not uncommon to have it at a later date.

The bersanding was a joint one for Zaza and her elder sister. It was an opportunity for me to observe first hand, some very traditional Malay traditions, which are not that common anymore.

Hardy took me by surprise when he suddenly handed me a bunch of small envelopes and made me his official toll payer. In case you are wondering what I am talking about, read on:

The arrival of the grooms were heralded by a troupe beating the kompang (hand drums). As soon as I reached the gate I realised what he had meant by paying a toll.

It is a fun custom that when the groom arrives at the bride's house, he is blocked at several stages by the bride's relatives and friends and you have to actually pay a "toll". Only when they are satisfied with the amount would they allow the groom to be at the bride’s side. It’s all very playful. As I am not very familiar with Malay customs and not good at sweet talk, I just followed the lead of the other guy - the toll payer for the other groom and smiled my way through and paid money whenever required.

And there were a few "tolls" to pass through - first at the gate, where a bevy of ladies blocked our entry. After that we had to pass through two guys followed by another - older ladies at the doorway of the house. Finally I came face to face with Zaza's mum at the Palamin (throne), where I finished most of the money. In the end I was left with three packets.

It was also Zaza’a parents wedding anniversary and they were led to the Palamin . Suddenly brought tears of happiness on eyes of a lot of people there.

Another custom I was not familiar with was when the two couples took out coins wrapped in ribbons and threw them into the crowd. The ladies were scrambling to catch them. One landed on my arm and I promptly put it into my pocket. Reminded me of the western tradition where the bride throwing her bouquet back before going off with the groom.

Really interesting experience. Took a lot of pictures but left the camera in Kuala Lumpur. Will post them up later.

Related posts: Akad Nikah in Johor

Back to Work

Unlike other people who are still enjoying their holidays, I am back in my office. And up to my neck with work.

Yes, the highway is finally clear. A lot of my colleagues are still not in and I hope they were not badly affected by the floods.

Anyway here are some pics of the recent flood sent to me by a friend.









Saying a prayer for last year's Tsunami's victims.

NEWS UPDATE: 27, Dec.

Sultan Abdul Halim Airport in Kepala Batas (Alor Star) is operational again from today morning.

Merry Christmas

Wishing all visitors to my blog

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Happy Holidays.

I Support Wikipedia

I have been a loyal Wikipedia supporter since I first heard of it and have also contributed/ added/ amended several articles to this fabulous yet free online encyclopedia.

The beauty of Wikipedia is that any article can be edited by anyone. And as you can expect, there are always some people who will write junk, delete entries - just for the fun of it. This has resulted in one major criticisms of Wikipedia - that several of its articles are not accurate.

The recent controversy regarding John Seigenthaler, did further harm to its reputation and credibility. An anonymous user (which was later identified as one Brian Chase) had implied that the journalist had been involved in the Kennedy assassination. Seigenthaler wrote a scathing article criticizing the online encyclopedia on USA Today

This has led to new rules including barring unregistered users from creating new pages on the site.

I was really happy to read the results of a recent study by the journal Nature which finds that Wikipedia is as accurate as the encyclopedia Britannica and scientists regularly consulted it.

Read the Businessweek report here.

Flood

As you may be aware, several parts of northern Malaysia have been hit by flood - the worst in 20 30 years, according to some news reports. Among the most severely hit in the state of Kedah was Kubang Pasu. Thousands of people have been evacuated and taken to emergency relief centers. I hope none of my friends are affected.

I was supposed to go back the day before yesterday but decided to take emergency leave and watch the situation. Last night I was already on the bus back to Kedah, when they suddenly announced that the bus won't be going beyond Jitra. I quickly stopped the bus and got down. I noticed that I was not alone. A colleague of mine who stays in Changloon town also decided to stay back in KL. Like me, he is a weekend husband (he works in Kedah while his wife works in KL and they get to meet only on weekends). He was quite worried as he has no idea what condition his house was in. I am quite lucky as the house I rent is on high ground and is not affected.

This morning two of my friends who normally drive to work every day from Sungai Petani informed me that the situation has not improved and in fact got worse. They had to turn back from Jitra and were stuck in a terrible jam.

If the rains don’t let up, there is going to be a disaster.

UPDATE:

Alor Star airport has been closed indefinitely.

Who’s Corrupt?

A few days back I met an old friend. While talking about various issues, we got to talking about the recent cases, which have cast a bad light on the Malaysian police. He was criticizing the Malaysian police and implying that they were all corrupt.

This is from a guy who used to regularly speed, double park and drive on the emergency lanes. He also has no qualms about giving money to get away whenever he is caught either.

He even taught me how to do it:

- Look apologetic.
- Give excuses.
- Talk in a low respectful tone.
- Look at the body language.
- And then finally slip in RM20-RM30.
- “And don’t show the money in your wallet”, he warned.

According to him, this was a good example of “you scratch my back, I scratch your back”.

This set me thinking.

To me, it is not only the people who take bribes who are corrupt. Even those who offer bribes are in the wrong.

Anyway here are some of my ideas about improving the entire Royal Malaysian Police force:

1. Improve their pay. At present I feel that they are highly underpaid in relation to their risks and the work hours they put in.
2. Increase the educational entry requirements for officers. At least a degree for an Inspector.
3. Regular retraining. Physical, language, latest crime fighting techniques and human rights.
4. Focus on their main task. That is to fight crime. Leave them out from religious (eg, khalwat raids), political and immigration issues.

It is indeed sad that a few rotten apples have ruined the image of several other dedicated men and women who work day and night to protect us.

I sincerely hope that they regain the respect that they deserve.

The Tudung Issue Revisited

Tudung – head scarf; head covering worn by many Muslim ladies in Malaysia.

Now that the International Islamic University tudung issue has died down, I thought - why not stroke the embers once again.

Recently my wife's cousin started wearing the tudung on her wedding day. It was purely her decision.

I read with interest an article in the NST (I can’t remember which) where the writer pointed out that wearing of the tudung became popular in Malaysia only after the Iranian revolution. Wearing the tudung took off in a big way in Malaysia only during the late 1980’s – a period some people refer to as the Islamization of Malaysia.

During an exhibition in University Malaya, there was an old black and white picture of some ladies (clerical staff) taken during the 70s. My wife recognized one of the ladies as her mother.

One of my her friends remarked “Wah! How sexy.”

According to my mother-in-law, during those days it was considered normal work attire (and it was the fashion). Everybody at work wore sleeveless shirts and skirts and none of them wore a tudung. It was definitely not considered sexy. Now, you would be hard pressed to find even a single Malay lady not wearing the tudung let alone sleeveless shirts and skirts, among the clerical staff of University Malaya. Not even among the non-Malay ladies.

I recall a friend telling me about receiving a culture shock when he finally came back home from the UK where he had stayed some 5 years studying and working. His wife didn’t wear a tudung when she left and she didn’t while she was there and now suddenly it had become an issue. Even a selendang - a loose covering, won’t do any more. Now the perfect way to wear a head covering is to wear it in such a way that not a single strand of hair should be seen.

I am not sure why, but suddenly I see that a lot of the young generation Muslim ladies do not wear the tudung. And a lot of those who used to wear it during their school and University days are no longer wearing it at work.

I guess it’s true. Culture does change. Or has it come the full circle?