02 June 2005

American Vs Malaysian Kids

Received another forwarded mail from my wife:

Letter to Dad 1:

To all the parents with teenage kids.....

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.

But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

**********************************************************
That is a typical letter from a typical American kid.

Letter to Dad 2:

A typical letter from a Malaysian kid would be:

Dear Dad,

I have decided to commit suicide. I only got 7A1s for my SPM exam and therefore, failed to live up to your expectation which is to beat Amalina, the Malay girl who got into the Malaysian Book of Record Winner with 17A1s.

Now you will not be able to brag to your friends about how intelligent your son is. And you will also feel that you wasted all the money on my education from kindergarten fees to extra tuition classes, etc. etc.

Bye.

Yours truly,

Typical Malaysian son.

p.s. Dad, I think you also wasted your money on the special milk you have been buying for me which is supposed to increase children's intelligence. I suggest you use another brand for my little sister.

12 comments:

afoi said...

hahaha good one

Shan said...

ROTFLOL - love the bit about the milk! :D

Dilip Mutum said...

Don't knwo who came up with the 2nd one but its really funny. ;-)

Anonymous said...

LMFAO

suanie said...

lol hillarious!

Anonymous said...

Kiasuism never fail to make other laugh =P

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, we should learn not to take things too seriously, I think....

That's not just typical malaysian kid... I think that's also typical singaporean kid.

BabyPink said...

the malaysian kid, though, wasn't joking about committing suicide, was he?:) hehehe:) just pulling your leg, adam. have a great weekend.:)

Dilip Mutum said...

BabyPink: Every year there are reports of children committing suicide just because they performed badly in their exams - mostly because of parental pressure.

Ikoko: Thanks for the invitation.

Kervin said...

Still not as bad as places like Japan and Singapore, kids there really in a pressure cooker situation to excel over the others, its scary how high the suicide rate in Japan is especially concerning entering university.

Lrong Lim said...

Aiyoooh man, how like that? A is bad, B is also bad... got C or not?

lynnee said...

LOL

i had a friend who once did not sit for her exam without telling parents... then the results slip was sent to the house... she got 5 "A"s... the dad so happy until he flipped the slip over & saw that A = ABSENT.

:)

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